I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
