So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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