I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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