I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
