She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
