What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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