shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
