You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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