You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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