either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
