I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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