There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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