C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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