White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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