We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The Olympian is in my bed
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