who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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