absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize