It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
