I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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