Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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