But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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