In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
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She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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