If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
