Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
