Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
