soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
