Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize