dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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