Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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