I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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