My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
