just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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