We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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