oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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