he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
