I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
