don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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