So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
