After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
