Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
