i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
