Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
