I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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