I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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