Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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