fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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