it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
