Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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