can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
