his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
