I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
