I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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